


Balance

by YellowHairedMage



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Char Noir - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Identity Reveal, Ladybug - Freeform, Miraculous Ladybug Love Square, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-01-22 18:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12488204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowHairedMage/pseuds/YellowHairedMage
Summary: Plagg was taken and Adrien doesn't know how to tell Ladybug. With the disappearance of Chat Noir, it seems Ladybug has been going through some changes the more she uses her abilities. Adrien realizes this and decides to jump into the battle as himself. What will happen? How will he get Plagg back? See what happens in this story full of angst, humor and some good old romance.





	1. Chapter 1

I cannot say that I am always aware of what is happening around me, or that I even understand the true meanings of what it is that the universe is trying to tell me. Maybe thats my bad luck, that I’m so oblivious. Recently, I have lost everything that means anything to me, and looking back, who would have ever guessed that my power to save others would end up destroying me.  
  
I keep thinking about how maybe, I should have stayed home that day, when I received the gift of destruction, how easy it would have been if Natalie, my fathers assistant, had caught me before I even left the house. Maybe, I would not be sitting here, feeling the empty spot on my finger, rubbing over the indentation from where my ring used to sit. The emptiness inside my soul, that used to belong to the little black god, aching to be filled with the return of his companionship. For days I have sat alone, thinking of what I can do to get him back, of how important he is, or was, to me, and how I took him for granted.  
  
What is worse is that with the loss of him. I have lost the connection to my partner, my other half, my soulmate. We were two superhero peas in a pod, a package deal. I constantly think back to all of our memories together, of saving Paris. Watching her fly through the skyline of our beautiful city, because it was our city when we were together. The wind flowing through her dark hair as the moon would play off her beautiful blue eyes. To me, she is the moon, a bright light in the dark, always guiding my way, during my darkest hour. She is my balance, the light to my dark. Someone who I cannot live without but because of my pride, and embarrassment I have forced myself to do just that, live without my soulmate. There is no way I can explain to her what happened without receiving disappointment and resentment.  
  
Maybe Im not giving her enough credit, she has always been kind and understanding. Calm and collected, always with the right thing to say. I just don’t want her to think lower of me than I’m sure she already does.  
  
It has been a month since I have “disappeared” and while she is usually smart and cunning, always armed with a plan, I have been watching her become more haphazard and more careless. I remember Plagg, my little black cat god, telling me once that together we balance each other, my miraculous being the power of destruction and hers the power of creation, and that too many uses of our powers without the other one would result in an imbalance to our bodies and minds. I wonder if that is what is happening to her, why she is changing. It could also be that she has been forced into a dynamic of a solo hero, instead of a partnership. I do not feel myself slipping, but I had my powers stolen, and am not sure if that imbalance would affect me anymore. I hate to be the reason for her imbalance. I reach again for the missing spot on my finger, the emptiness from my heart drops to my stomach. I miss him, I miss the freedom that came from it, but mostly I miss her.  
  
I get up from the chair and head into the large empty bathroom, feeling the space, hearing only my breathing and smelling no camembert, Plagg’s treat of choice. I think back to the night I lost him, everything. After everything went back to normal, only, it wasn’t. I threw out all of his food, along with anything that reminded me of him, I couldn't face what I had done, after all was said and done I would have the scars to prove it, and I would have been okay with that reminder. I had bruises for weeks and a huge gash on my forehead from the lamp on my desk.  
  
No victim ever had any injuries after the cleansing, they were all wiped away from existence, that was her ability. This time, she was not involved, which I will forever be eternally grateful for. I could never live with myself if anything happened to her, especially if it was done by my hands. I couldn’t look at myself if she ever saw what I turned into. I look down to my hands, hands that have destroyed many things, as they held me up while I leaned on the counter. No ring in sight, a reminder of my own mistakes. A deep sigh erupts from my throat and I glance up to my face. Its reflection looked as if nothing happened, despite all the sleep that I lost, all the scars that were there, thats the life of a model I guess, only the best for Adrien Agreste.  
  
My father was outraged at my appearance when he saw me. I could lose him money or worse. I groan loudly as I look at myself, how pathetic. I grab the closest thing to me and throw it at my shower wall. The bar of soap crumpled and fell to the floor, destroyed. Destruction, the only thing I’m good at. I laugh at my immature fit of rage, I need to fix this. I need to make this right. I pick up the pieces of soap and place them back in the tray as not to waste them, and return to my pity party in front of my mirror, remembering all the times before getting ready for the cameras.  
  
Despite all that time in front of the camera as Adrien, when it came to his alter ego, he would shy away, she was better suited for it. Usually, after a successful cleansing of an akuma from a victim, she would be the one to deal with the press, while he would take care of the victim. She is the more tactful one and me the more emotional one, after all. However now, she rushes away immediately after the fights. I see an emptiness in her eyes when the reporters approach her, eyes that have lost their spark, but still remain dutiful to her responsibilities. I feel selfish for wanting her to be near me, for me to tell her how I feel about her, and to instill in her a confidence that together, everything will be alright. I lost that ability when I gave into the temptations he offered, the man who I have been trying to save Paris from for the last 3 years. I do not deserve to think about her like that anymore, after all, this is all my fault.  
  
My thoughts are interrupted by the shuffling noise coming from behind me, a sound that often stirs me from my thoughts.  
  
“Hey guys! Alya here, streaming live from an akuma fight near Francois Dupont High School!”  
  
I turned my attention to the monitor on my desk to see the shaky footage on the screen. I hurried back to my chair, almost missing it. I saw my partners red suit fly past the camera and slam into the stairs at the entrance of the school I knew all too well. It looks as if the battle has been raging on for awhile. I reach for the monitor as if my touch would be enough to help her. I blanche as I watch her wince at the cut above her eyebrow, I look closer and see that her mask is cut too, then I saw the blood.  
Her face mirrors mine as confusion takes over. Neither of us have ever bled during a fight, bruised yes, but the suit is supposed to protect us from blood. It must be the imbalance taking into effect. I’m the cause for that blood. I am the reason for that pain. I curse under my breath at myself for allowing this to happen.  
  
I once broke my arm during a bad fall, but I never bled through my suit and it was repaired once she cleansed the city from any destruction, but man was it bruised badly, my father was furious and I had to postpone a few of my photoshoots until it healed.  
  
I watch as she struggles to stand, but as soon as she does, I saw her look change to that of determination. My heart picks up its pace as I see the old fire in her eyes again. She only made that look when faced with a challenge.  
  
I can’t hide anymore. I cannot be ashamed anymore, I need to come to terms with what I have done. It is my fault that I lost my miraculous, it is my fault that I gave in to the anger. She knows me better than anyone, how could I ever be so blind. With her, everything will be alright. She always tells me that I am the braver one of the two of us and I need to be brave for her and for Plagg, sweet annoying Plagg. I know what I need to do, I need to get my ring back. I cannot let her be alone anymore, she needs her partner.  
  
Immediately, as if I had no control over my body, I got up and raced towards the school. Luckily, my secret life of being a super hero allowed me the endurance to get there quickly and without winding me terribly. The city flew by and I ran as fast as I could to the scene.  
  
As soon as I arrived I saw Alya hiding behind a bush under one of the school windows, her orange shirt did not help her to camouflage in the green plants. I rolled my eyes as I thought about how much danger she was in. However, she knew that she was and would not listen to anyone about her safety. It did not matter if I asked her as myself or as my alter ego, Chat Noir, she would never listen. She was determined to get her story.  
  
I sprinted over to her and not so smoothly, jumped in the bush, I watched as her face contorted into one of fear and I immediately reached for her arms to stop the onslaught of incoming punches, a reflex I gained in my other life. After a moment she realized it was me and her face softened, as if to be relieved to see me, then it quickly changed into confusion. Thankfully she didn’t scream, though I don’t think I have ever seen her do that.  
  
“Adrien? I thought you always hid during these fights, I have never seen you so close to one before”.  
  
I chuckled to myself and thought about the irony of the fact that she isn’t wrong, I’m usually in the middle of the fight. I glanced over to the action and searched for an excuse, which came easily enough, another ability I have learned in my time as a superhero with a secret to keep.  
  
“I was coming back to school early to study a bit in the library, What happened? How is she doing?”  
  
As she glanced over to the battle, her face slowly formed a grimace as she watched her idol struggle with standing after a particularly difficult grapple.  
  
“I’m not sure who the akuma is, or how he got that way. To be honest I’m worried, this is the first time I have ever seen her bleed from a fight. She has been struggling since Chat Noir disappeared”.  
  
I turned from her without answering her question. I had no way of answering her, I knew exactly where he was, and I knew exactly why he was allowing his lady to get hurt.  
  
We have been fighting for such a long time, and luckily with age I have learned how to asses the battles quickly. Something I forced myself to learn after a particularly difficult bout with an Akuma who almost killed my best friend, Nino. After watching the tortuous scene I promised him that I would do more to protect him, and the people of Paris. It was my carelessness that got him caught in the first place and I swore to myself that I wouldn't be the reason for anymore hostages.  
  
It took a long time to get where I am, and I took the opportunities I had and used them to my advantage, it was the first time I ever thanked my father for making me take all these lessons and for him allowing me to go to school. With that, I gained the knowledge and understanding of strategy and how to think outside of the box. Of course, I am still the more emotional one of the two of us, and I still get myself into quite a few dangerous situations, but with the help of my partner I am always able to overcome them.  
  
I glanced over to the action and quickly took in the scene, this time, however, I will not be jumping in to protect my city, or my lady. I will be sitting on the sidelines, hoping for the best.  
  
His green suit caught my attention, he looked like a luchador. His green skin tight suit covered his very built body, complete with white gloves and boots that laced up to his knees. It looked like he had orange and white tiger stripes grazing down his sides with a small orange cape that draped down to the middle of his back, the whole look completed with the green mask that covered his head.  
  
He towers over Ladybug, making her seem smaller than she normally is, she looks like a little girl, not the strong woman I know and love, and despite not knowing her age or true identity, I assume she is around my age, 17. In the next quick moment, he lunged forward and reached for her, as usual, she reacted quickly, however she moved slower, almost like she was struggling. ‘Of course she is, she's doing the job of 2 people and she has been injured, you're the reason for that!’ my brain seemed to scream at me. She narrowly escaped him, and was able to crawl away.  
  
“You’ve got to do better than that, Luchador!” Ladybug shouted at him.  
  
Unfortunately, he used this opportunity to lunge again, he moves slowly, as is expected from a guy that size. She tries to jump away from him, instead she seems to move slower than she was before, something seems off. I look towards my lady and I see that she now understands what is going on, a plan forming, but why isn't she using her Lucky Charm?  
  
Ladybug throws her magic yo-yo to wrap around a bench directly in front of Alya and me, and narrowly escapes his grip. She looks up from the ground, her hand still holding tightly on her yo-yo sting, muscles still flexing, and our eyes meet, I watch as her eyes widen, worry fills her face, my heart stops.  
  
Why is she looking at me like that? Does she know that I'm her partner? My brain seems to freeze, I feel my eyes widen and my jaw slack, ready to apologize for my lack of attendance, however, before anything can come out of my mouth, she voices out loud;  
  
“Adrien, grab Alya and get out of here, its too dangerous without Chat!’ She pleaded with me, with that ever prevalent fear in her voice, the one I only hear when she is worried about the well being of others.  
  
‘Of course she doesn't know you idiot, she is only worried about us as civilians in danger’, I told myself as I tried to calm down from my previous assumption.  
  
Subconsciously, I raise my finger to my lips and start tapping them. Alya, Nino and Chloe make fun of me when I do this during tests and study hall at school. I picked it up from my friend, Marinette. I noticed her doing it one day in study hall after Alya drew my attention to the fact that we were both doing it. Doing it helps me focus on the task in front of me, so I am grateful to Mari for letting me borrow it.  
  
She starts to climb horizontally away from him, using her yo-yo as a grip to climb closer to the bench. I see her feet push her body forward and I see how hard her arm muscles are working on the string of her yo-yo, and it hits me like a ton of bricks. Shit.  
  
“He has a gravitational pull”, I almost whisper.  
  
It seems he has no special powers other than that gravitational pull, he moves slowly and it seems he needs to get you to him to cause harm and once he has you, thats when his size and his persona have the advantage. I glance over to Alya and she turns her head slowly to face me, with wide eyes behind her glasses, realizing what I just said.  
  
“Why doesn't she use her Lucky Charm?” I repeat, however, this time aloud.  
  
“She hasn't used it since Chat Noir hasn't shown up, its been a little over three weeks since I've seen her use it” Alya informs me, a little smirk forms at the corner of her lip, “So, you like the super heroes too, huh?”  
  
“This is no time for joking, Alya. We need to get out of here,” I say as seriously as I can, trying to mask my embarrassment. She hasn't used her Lucky Charm for three weeks, but I've been gone for a month. She must be trying to protect me, us.  
  
“No, you're right, you need to get out of here, I'm staying for my live stream to my ‘Ladyblog’”, she quickly responds back.  
  
Great, I have a friend unwilling to leave the dangerous fight, again, and the love of my life is struggling to defeat the enemy because I am not there to help out. Damn it. If I could kick my own ass I would.  
  
Suddenly, I remember something that, my little black cat god, once told me. “You are Chat Noir, with or without the mask”. He said as he was shoving his face full of camembert.  
  
I need to do something, anything. I let my body react without stopping it, I needed to help my friends. In that moment, I subconsciously became my alter ego, this time without the disguise.  
  
I reach into my bag and pull out my phone charger and immediately grab Alya’s arm and pick her up over my shoulder and race over to the street lamp, which was coincidentally and conveniently a little further away from the battle and immediately tie her to the post and in the most confident voice I could muster I looked at her in the eyes.  
  
“Do not move, at all. This chord should help temporarily if Luchador decides to use his pull on you, its not much, but its all I have. Yell at me if he starts coming for you, I’ll do my best to protect you”. She nodded hesitantly in response, a little dumbstruck. I've never been this forceful with her as Adrien, but I have been as Chat, and right now, Chat is who I am, I’ll apologize later.  
  
I turn my attention to the battle and see that the Luchador has gotten ahold of Ladybug. He is on top of her and she is trying her best to squirm away from him. A lightbulb goes off and immediately I am sprinting towards them. I am not as stealthy without my abilities and my running makes enough noise to distract LB from her compromising position, I curse at myself again as I see Luchador swing back and successfully land a blow to her ribcage during her distraction. I know that the damage is dulled while in her uniform, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. She cries out in pain and screams out my name, except its not the name I'm used to, nor in the tone that I'm used to. I hear a bit of surprise with the subtle hints of confusion, but mostly, its just anger. I jump onto the akumas back and swiftly throw his cape over his head and with all of my body weight, I lean to the right and he loses his balance. At my success I see LB roll over, gripping her side.  
  
“Use your Lucky Charm!” I tell her, instead of the usual bellow of her special ability, she says, “I can't use it, not without Chat, its too hard to explain, now get out of here before you get hurt!”  
  
Bewildered, I stare at her with a look of defiance. “Do it anyway, he's getting free!”  
  
“No, I will not, not without Chat here”. She repeats.  
  
“He’s obviously not coming, Ladybug, he’s the one who let you down, just use it!” I shout, struggling to subdue the akuma beneath me.  
  
Anger. So much anger in one look…and…betrayal? I have never seen that look before but just as before I’ll apologize later, if she’ll listen. She is the more stubborn one of the two of us. I am pulled from my thoughts as I see her lunge towards Luchador and tears the cape from my hands. I hear the fabric rip and see the little purple butterfly come out, flying away from the scene. She immediately snatches it into her yo-yo and purifies it, a beautiful white butterfly flying out.  
  
Luchador, hunches over and turns back into Gorilla, my bodyguard. Why didn't I see that coming? I should have noticed just by his size. How could I not see it? I see him everyday, how could I not see it was him, there is my obliviousness again.  
  
Ladybug limps over to him as she is gripping her ribcage and hands him back a piece of cloth that looks like it could be a handkerchief. I notice the small monogram on it, I can't quite make out the letters. He folds it neatly and places it inside his chest pocket and holds his hand over where it had been placed, as if to protect it. He looks up to Ladybug with a look of gratitude and without a word passing through them, she understood it and muttered a response with that beautiful smile of hers.  
  
She looks up at me, that smile quickly turning into a face without emotion and I walk over to her, apology in hand for my harsh, but true words. Instead she swings her yo-yo and disappears onto the rooftops.  
  
Oh man, I’m gonna get it.


	2. Chapter 2

I need to get to her. What am I doing just standing here? I turn to see which direction she heads in and notice its towards the Seine, immediately I reach for my staff thats attached to my back, and I feel nothing. “Oh, thats right”. I sigh “I’m an idiot”. I start to run after her, when I hear a very angry Alya yell my name. Frozen in my tracks, I turn to her and immediately run over to her. 

I untie her from the post and she looks up to me and with hip cocked shot me a look that could melt rock. “I'm sorry, I had to help!” 

“No you didn’t, Agreste! You put yourself in danger and you could have been hurt! How am I supposed to explain this to Nino and Marinette?”

“I had it covered Alya. Besides, like your one to talk!” I say as out of habit my hand reaches up to rub the back of my neck. “You don't have to tell them, it can just be our secret”.

“No can do pretty boy, they saw the whole thing”. She mocks as she holds up her phone and immediately I blanche. I look at her smirk and she continues “What were you thinking? You’re lucky I’m not one of those two, because I thought it was really cool, ya know, after I got over the fact that it was you, in fact you kinda reminded me of Chat Noir” she winked.

My breath hitched at his name, this time though, I didn't have to lie or divert the conversation. “She was in trouble, I had to help her! I didn't know if she had figured out his ability yet and I couldn't see her get hurt anymore, though she didn't like my Chat Noir comment, I should probably apologize” I look over to the direction she ran away in and glance to the closest building in that direction and see the Patisserie, perfect. “Alya, I’m going to go explain to Mari what happened, I'd better tackle it on head first”. 

“Cool, I'll come with you, I want something to eat after all this excitement”.

"No!" I shout and quickly calm myself down. “I’d like to go alone, is that alright?”

“Oh, of course it is Agreste”. Her smirk widening “Just, ya know, be gentle”. 

“Of course, why wouldn't I be?” I say confused. 

“Good” she says with a full blown smile on her face. “I’ll see ya later”. 

I turn from her still confused but I start running towards the Patisserie. The wind smells of sweets and warm bread, the smell reminds me of Marinette and a particularly fond memory I have of her and her family teaching me how to bake. I chuckle at the memory of flour everywhere and me trying to clean some off of her cheek, to only make it worse. I reach my hand up to my cheek and feel its warmth, that eternal battle that will forever rage on between the two women who mean the most to me. Oh, Alya’s comment makes sense now, and now my whole face is red. I smack my cheeks and realize I am now at the side entrance to Marinette's home, and I glance back at the school and see that Alya is gone. I turn around and start running again towards the river. 

I slow down to a walk, to not draw attention to myself, more than I already do, and start looking for any sign of her. It’s a strange sensation, but I'm used to being in this part of town, only I'm more familiar with the roofs. I take a moment to let my mind wander, to remember the wind in my hair. The red beauty running beside me but mostly, the freedom that came with it. There it was again, the emptiness, deep in my stomach. Reaching again for the empty spot on my finger, I looked out over the river thinking about how I desperately needed to find her. My eyes fell on an older building across the river that I knew immediately, only it looked different from the ground. “Master…” I whisper, to no one in particular. “She has to be there”. 

I walked to the nearest bridge and crossed to get as close to the building as possible. The alley way next to the masters massage parlor was usually fairly vacant and it proved to be a good spot to transform when coming and going from his place. I decided that this is where I will wait for her. I sat down at the end of the alleyway behind the dumpster and out of view. Luckily, there were no restaurants that used this dumpster, so it did not smell too terribly. I settled in and reached for my phone. There were a few messages, one from Nino, Alya and a few from my fathers assistant, Natalie. Though, right now, I do not feel like talking to anyone. I need to get into the right mindset, because I am about to do the craziest thing I have ever done.

Then, it hit me. What am I going to say to her? ‘Hey, its me Adrien, I know you don't want to know, but I'm Chat Noir, I know I haven't been around the past month, I lost my ring, help me find it?” I roll my eyes and curse myself under my breath, I am so frustrated with myself and I don't deserve help, after all the pain I have probably caused her. Especially after losing the single most important thing to me. ‘No!’ I yell to myself. ‘You are doing this for her, she needs her partner back, even if that is not you. You have to help her get the ring back, you cannot let it remain in his hands, she will understand that’. I look down to the bright screen and pull up the games tab, I need to distract myself until she comes out. 

CLANG! HISS! I’m jolted awake by what sounds like a can being knocked over by a cat. I hit my head on the brick wall behind me and immediately hiss myself as I reach my hand up to rub the spot. 

‘Where the hell am I?’ I can barely see its so dark. I faintly make out the outline of the buildings at the end of the alley as I see the moon shinning off of the Seine. ‘Oh, thats right, I'm at masters massage parlor’. ‘Shit! Ladybug! I hope she didn't leave!’ I stand up and start to leave the alley to see if there are lights still on. As soon as I take my first step the side door of the building pulls open and a light illuminates the front part of the alley. 

Immediately I slink back behind the dumpster and I see a couple of figures exit the building. One, is no doubt the Master, he is a smaller Chinese man who is no taller than my chest, I see the bright red Hawaiian shirt that he always wears along with his hemp bracelet that has a jade turtle bead in the center. I recognize the voice of the other figure as Ladybug and I shut my eyes tight as she is not in uniform. We promised each other to not reveal ourselves, and I will respect that until the day I die, although, I am about to do just that, but I am ok with her knowing who I am, we have a mission to complete. 

“Thank you again for the lessons today, Master, I hope to make you proud’. She says to the smaller man with a bow. 

“You already do Ladybug, I wish it didn't come to this, but without the Cat miraculous, we are going to need as much help as we can get, now get home safe, we must prepare for whats about to happen,” he says as he glances over to the dumpster. 

I stop breathing at this notion. There is no way he knows I'm here!

“I’m sorry Master, what are we preparing for?” She asks confused.

His eyes divert from the dumpster to her, “Nothing yet, but I will be staying at my parlor tonight if anything comes up”. With this, he says his goodbye and shuts the door.

“Uhhh, Tikki, what was that?” I over hear Ladybug ask who I am assuming is her Kwami. 

“I’m not sure, but you know that the Master always has a reason for everything, I am sure we will find out soon”. The little god replied to her holder. 

“Well then, we should get going. Tikki! Spots on!” 

How I miss that companionship, feeling as if he would never be gone. I took him and his friendship for granted, and would've never guessed that this emptiness could exist. Now, I'm living in it, and I'm drowning, and my only chance of survival is to take this chance now. 

The alleyway shines a bright red as my soulmate becomes her alter ego, something I have always dreamed of watching, for now I’ll just have to stick with being wedged between a dumpster and a crate, keeping my eyes shut as to not no break my promise. As I see the red fading, my heart races and jumps to my throat. I muster up all of the courage I can, because I am the bravest one of us, after all, and take a huge breath.

“Ladybug, wait!” I squeak from my throat. ‘Smooth one, Adrien’ I think to myself. I hear her breath hitch, in what I'm assuming is fear of the unknown. I watch her shadow reach slowly to her hip to grab her weapon. 

“Please my lady, I bring you no harm. Its me…” I begin

“Chat Noir" we say in unison. Though hers was more of a question. 

“Yes, please close your eyes, I am in my civilian form, you can trust me, bugaboo”. 

She relaxes at the nickname, one we use often to protect ourselves from imposters. “Okay Cha…” She began to trail off and I escaped from my prison and saw her figure shaking. She must be angry with me. Its now or never, it doesn't matter how disappointed she is in me, this needs to be said.

“LB, I know your angry but please, I will answer any questions you have for me, just let me explain everything”. 

“Ok, but on one condition, let me go first”. Shocked is the only word I can think of to describe this feeling, what on Earth does she need to explain? She can't blame herself for my disappearance, can she? Does she genuinely feel at fault for this past month? What kind of torture have I put her through, all because I was too scared or prideful to ask for help, of which I haven't quite figured out myself. This whole time I have been thankful that she wasn't involved in my darkness but it turns out, I gave her one of her own. For the first time I am thinking about our roles only reversed. Her losing her miraculous and being too afraid to approach me about it. How lonely I would feel without her, my partner. My heart aches deeply and a darkness takes over. She is so strong, to go through losing her partner, to what I assume she thought was death. She must not only feel sadness but feel a dark anger knowing that I am right here in front of her and this whole time I could have been helping her by just letting her know I was alive. 

“LB, I need to apologize. For everyth…”

“Shut up Chat, don't speak, “ she interrupted, her voice laced in anger so thick. She has never talked to me that way, I'm terrified now of how this conversation will go, if I survive. 

I watch her stand there, her head facing the ground searching for what to say as if the next words out of her mouth would decide the fate of the world. They won't though, no matter what she says, I will let her feel whatever she needs to. I will remain by her side until my time has come to say goodbye. The silence between us is deafening only to be interrupted by a deep sigh. Her shoulders begin to tremble and her hands form fists. That emptiness in my stomach starts to ache again as I think of her loneliness. Then, out of nowhere I hear her sniffle, I look towards the ground and I see the drops. Her anger shifts to something else, maybe longing? I see as she loosens her fists and begins to step towards me and I subconsciously reach for her hand to guide her to me. I see the outlines of her tears reflecting off of the light of the moon. 

Her fingers slide around my hand and she lays her head on my chest. I try to control my racing heart but she can definitely feel the deep pounding coming from it. For what seems like an eternity and simultaneously not near long enough, I become aware my surroundings and what is happening. My eyes start to water because I realize I haven't blinked this entire time, the shock of what was happening finally settling in. I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding. What is happening, why is she doing this? She has never been this affectionate with me. 

“My lady, what are you doing?’ My voice seems to raise an octave. 

“Shut up kitty, don't speak” she says so softly I almost didn't catch it. “I thought you were dead’.

My eyes shot open, my worst fears were coming to fruition. She was lonely and I gave her that darkness to protect my pride. A pride that I realize now is so pointless. I begin to feel my chest becoming wet and for the first time since the embrace, I dare to look down at her. 

She feels my movement and utters ever so softly, “The Master was right, you really do balance me. When I am with you I feel that all is right, I truly missed you with everything I am, please don't ever do that again. I’m sorry you didn't feel comfortable enough to come to me with whatever happened. I am your partner and I should have made it more apparent of how much you mean to me. The master said he couldn't sense you anymore and I assumed the worst. Oh god, I’m rambling now, and I just missed you, please forgive me for whatever I did to make you not want to be my partner.”

“No, my lady…”

“Stop, Chat”.

She takes in a deep breath and grabs my shirt and digs her head deeper into my chest and I hug her tightly. I have always wanted to hear that from her but I cannot allow her to feel like she let me down when I'm the one who let her down. My thoughts are interrupted by her beautiful voice again.

“You smell the same, but something is missing…”

“Camembert” I answer her non existent question, dejectedly. 

“Camembert? Why camembert?” She repeats me.

“It was Plagg’s favorite, I used to feed it to him after each transformation, my school bag still smells like it, which I am actually really thankful for…” I trail off.

That emptiness in my stomach decides to raise to my heart again. It has complete control of my body and it is so unfair that it just gets to choose where it goes. Now the tears in my eyes are threatening to fall again, I miss him.

“Was? Used to?” She asks, worry laced in her voice.

“LB, I need you to look at me. I need you to see who I am without the mask, then I will explain”.

“Why do I need to know who you are?” I can hear the shock and hesitation in her question.

“You need to know who you will be working with, I can't get him back without you. Hawkmoth took Plagg, he took my ring. Ladybug, he knows who I am”.

Her grip on my shirt tightens and she inhales a sharp breath. I cannot do anything but wait for her to understand my statement. I know it will not take long, but she needs to process this on her own. Her left hand releases my shirt and reaches for my right hand. I raise it to show her and as she laces her fingers around mine I watch her stop at the indentation. I see her open her eyes, hesitantly to inspect my hand and the missing ring. She rubs her finger over the indentation, its a familiar sensation, one I have been doing often lately. It seems to sting when she does it, more real now that she is in on the secret.

“He knows who you are?” She asks carefully.

“Yes”. I answer swiftly. Its a short answer, but I can tell she needs to figure this out on her own. When she is ready for the story, she will ask.

“Your hands are a lot different without your claws, its strange, your fingers are long but they're shorter than I imagined they would be. Softer too”. Her hand still in mine she lowers them to her side. I can tell she is conflicted and that it is going to take everything in her to just glance upwards, to see me, all of me. 

“There is no rush my lady”.

“I know, you've always been the more patient one of the two of us”. She chuckles a response, nervous. “Can you tell me what happened to Plagg?”

“I'm sorry, but I can't until you see who I am”. Trying to sound as emotionless as I can, to let her know how serious I am. “It will help while telling the story so that I do not have to walk on eggshells about anything, I can just be me, plus if Hawkmoth knows who I am, its only a matter of time before you do”.

Paris is quiet, only the moon is casting light. The citizens unaware that their heroes are about to change their lives forever. To us the world has stopped, fear and uncertainty fill every part of my shaking body. I see her trembling, for what I'm sure are the same feelings. Her face begins its journey upwards and all of the air is sucked from my lungs. I must be brave, for her. Her head is now aligned with mine but her eyes have not connected yet, instead they are staring at the brick wall next to us. I see the uncertainty in her eyes, and I know I have to give her something to get her to look at me. 

“I have always loved you, my lady. Ever since our battle with Stoneheart. I love everything about you, and I know that I would love you outside of the mask as well. Even if you do not reciprocate my feelings, understand that I will always be by your side until you tell me to leave, but you need to know who I am to get Plagg back”.  


Her eyes narrow as tears threaten to betray her again. “I just told you to never leave me again. I know what you're trying to do, and I will not let you give up the cat miraculous. I need Chat Noir”. She pauses as if to choose her words carefully, “I need all of you, whoever you are. I love you too, kitty”.

That does it. I was not expecting that. My heart explodes out of my chest and I gasp for air, my face burns red as bright as Ladybugs transformation magic. Be cool, Adrien. Be cool. I repeat to myself as I try my best to calm down. I take a deep breath in the smoothest voice I can muster I finally get to say the one sentence I've wanted to say to her since the beginning. 

“Then let yourself see who I am, all of me”.

Her head turns to face me and her eyes meet mine. I get lost in them for a second until I see them expand as recognition sets in. She removes herself from my grasp and steps back, her mouth agape. I reach my now cold, empty hand to the back of my neck to rub, while a nervous chuckle releases itself from my mouth. 

“Hey LB…”

“Adrien?”


	3. Chapter 3

“I can’t believe its you, I mean it does make sense and a lot of things are falling into place now. Just, wow, I’m sorry my thoughts are racing and I’m rambling.” She blurts out after the initial shock sets in.

“My lady, I understand what you’re going through is a big deal and I will stay here until you’re ready,” I say in hopes of comforting her.

She is so cute when she is flustered. Watching her fidget and nervously pick at her suit while she rambles on makes me realize I have never seen her like this. It seems she is taking it well, for the most part. She needs to get through this first before I can share my tale with her, no matter how long it takes. I will always remain by her side. 

“You’ve always been so kind to me,” she mutters.

“Do I know you in civilian form, too?” My thoughts spoken aloud. I realize what I just said and immediately try to retract it.”You don’t have to answer that, I didn’t think before I said it.” I look down to her, her eyes wide, searching mine. 

“You’re a world famous model and I have met you several times as Ladybug, you know?” She seems to relax.

“Oh, right…” I sound dejected. I was hoping that I did know her in civilian life, that would make all of this easier. I’m beginning to feel like there are three different versions of me. Chat Noir, overly confident over the top super hero. Adrien Agreste, handsome super model, and me, some kind of jumbled mess between the two, searching for an even balance between them. 

My thoughts are interrupted with her movement. Getting closer she pulls my arm down and I realize I have been tapping my lips again. She wraps her arms around me and lays her head on my chest, again. Her warmth relaxes me, melts me. 

“Get out of your head, Adrien. I’m happy its you, though you’re much cooler than I am in my civilian form. I’m just a normal girl, with a normal life, while you’re…extraordinary”. 

I release a chuckle and my tense body relaxes. “Thats where you’re wrong my lady, no matter who you are as a civilian you are the extraordinary one, and like I said earlier, I will always love you, for whoever you are under that mask. While as Adrien Agreste, I have my whole life planned for me, to which I am to not falter”.

I reach up to my face to feel where the scar should be, only to be met with smooth skin, a reminder that my face is the only important thing to my father, and his business.

“As Chat I am given such great freedom, running on the roofs, saving Paris and going wherever I want, whenever I want, and thats been taken from me. Then there is me, just regular Adrien. A normal kid who just wants to go to school, hang out with my friends, eat pizza and play video games. Who is just trying to find an even balance between the two, I am not quite sure of who I am”. I continue, vulnerable. 

“Well, I’ve always thought all three of you have been great, and you were right, I’m glad I looked up. It’s freeing knowing who you are under the mask. You’re just so different as Chat, so flirtatious and loud and as Adrien you’re so kind and gentle with me. Its almost as if you have more confidence as a punsational flirty cat.”

“Me? A flirt? I’ve never even had a real kiss!” I burst out while laughing. “I mean I definitely have more confidence with a mask on, and maybe its the cat personality but I don’t have to be Adrien when I’m Chat. Maybe, its more of who I really am!”

Her face blanches and then quickly turns beet red and I stifle my laughter, ready to let her talk as she shifts nervously. 

“I kissed you during our battle with Dark Cupid, it was the only way to take the magic away, I’m sorry I never told you. I was still figuring out my feelings for you then and I didn’t want you to think anything more was happening. 

“Wow…you…kissed…wow” is all my idiotic brain could muster, she kissed me years ago and I never knew? Curse my bad luck. I turn my thoughts around and focus on the task at hand. 

“Anyways.” She says with her eyebrow cocked. “I’ve seen you flirt with Marinette as Chat before”.

Well, since we’re being out in the open about everything. “I have never lied to you before and I wont start now. I have been in love with you, my lady, since the literal day we met, but you never returned my feelings until now. Mari is a great friend, one of the best, whom I know in my civilian life. She used to not be able to even talk to me but I tried my best to get her to be comfortable around me. During that time I realized how wonderful she is. I don’t know if I am in love with her, but I do like her as more than a friend, but I’ve never acted on it because of my love for you. So, yes I do flirt with her, but thats probably because I can’t do it as Adrien. It’s been an eternal battle within me for the longest time and I understand if that makes you mad or jealous, or whatever. However, you have always been the reason I have held out in that regard. I’m not here to get into a relationship with you, though that would be my dream, and we can talk about that later. For now, I’m here to be open and honest with you.” I confess. 

Her thoughts take over as she is thinking about what to say next. I feel bad about how I feel about the both of them, but you can’t help how the heart feels. However, like I said, I am here to get Plagg back, to get her partner back. Hopefully, she can see that. For now though, this situation is what is important, getting through this reveal and my confession is what needs to happen now. Ladybug looks up to me, and she has that look of determination again, she has definitely made up her mind about something. Maybe she will be mad about my confession of Mari, maybe she has decided to help me get Plagg and let us figure things out later. Either way, whatever she decides, I’m ready.

“I never answered your question, the one you asked earlier”. She says seemingly stronger than she has to be. 

“What question?” I ask, genuinely confused. 

“You do know me in civilian form, Adrien”.

I was not ready for that. My thoughts begin to race as I think about all of the women in my life, from my fathers business, to other models, classmates, coworkers and then to every person I’ve ever come across. I squeeze my eyes shut and reach my free hand to my forehead.

“Stop, Adrien!” I say aloud, accidentally. I needed to stop those thoughts, I am not here to figure out who LB is. I look up to meet her eyes and it seems I have moved her from my chest, my hands on her shoulders as I send her an arms length away from me. She seems worried.

“I’m sorry, my lady, when you said that I knew you in your other life, my mind began to race and I tried to figure out who you were. Thats not why I’m here though, when you are ready to tell me who you are I will be here to listen, but please do not feel forced because I have showed you who I am”.

“I know, kitty, but I’m ready now. Tikki…” My body tenses, I am not ready for this. I bring her close to my chest again, and fear fills my body. She continues “…Spots off!”

A bright red light fills the deserted alley and I feel her suit change into a soft fabric. I lift my face to the sky as tears fill my eyes, this is all I’ve ever wanted and its almost too much for me to handle. I am about to figure out who the love of my life is. After three long years of fighting beside each other, saving each other and falling for each other. I did not prepare myself for this. My whole life is about to change, just as hers did mere minutes ago. Did she feel this same elation? The red light began to fade and I knew my partner was standing there, without her suit, but I just can’t look down.

“Adrien, here I am”. A shy tone laced her voice now. What happened to the confidence she just had? Does she think I’m going to be disappointed?

“My lady, whats wrong?”

“You’re not looking, it makes me think this was a mistake. Should I change back? Do you not want to know who I am?” She asks, almost rambling.

“More than anything my lady, don’t change back, I just need a minute”. I explain.

“I get it, take your time. Would you like to make a game out of it? It might be easier on you if you find out on your own”. She jokes with me.

“Actually, yes. Thank you for understanding.” I say with gratitude, it will also give me some time to build up my courage. 

“Ok ask me anything.” She perks up, confident again. 

“Where do you go to school?” I ask the safe question first.

“Why, Francois Dupont High School, maybe you’ve heard of it?” She giggles. 

“I love your laugh, my lady. It always warms my heart when its cold and alone,” I remember how much I missed it during my absence. 

“It seems that we go to the same school, but you knew that already, Didn’t you? Next question then, how old are you?”

“I am sixteen, almost seventeen. My birthday is only a few months after yours, kitty”. She teases. Her hand reaches up to lace itself in my hair. A soft purr releases itself from the back of my throat. 

“I have missed that purr , I’ve missed you”. She teases, again. 

She is so comfortable with me, she must be a friend. I reach my finger up to tap it on my lips again and hum to myself as I think of the next question I should ask, “Are we in the same class?” I conclude is a safe question to ask while I think ahead to the next one. 

“Yes my kitty, we are”. She reaches up to hook her finger around the one tapping my lips, her skin soft. She lowers our hands to the side and I allow my fingers to entangle in hers. She leans up to my ear and whispers, “You know, rumor has it that you got that habit from me, at least thats what Alya tells me”.

My eyes shoot open, I’ve lost all function to my body. All this time, its been her, right behind me in class. The one who always smells of delicious baked goods, who sneaks me as many as she can without getting me in trouble. The girl who I worked so hard to build a friendship with, just to get her to talk to me. The super talented designer who wins all of my fathers contests, who has a design for every circumstance. The daughter of the family who has already accepted me as their own, whose face is adorable when covered in the flour that I accidentally put there. She is so kind to everyone she meets, and cares for all of her friends deeply. The girl I used to visit as Chat, often. It all slides into place, all of my times with Ladybug were with her, just in a mask. The woman I love, is in fact my best friend. I am actually the lucky one. 

“Adrien?” She asks.

“Marinette,” her name finally passes through my lips.

“Yes, its me, Adrien,” the way she says my name, how did I never realize it before? Its always been her voice. Its as if Ladybug is gone and I only see Mari. She must feel the same way about me, that I am now only Adrien. All three of me morphing into one in a second. Its a strange feeling that I do not think I could even begin to compare, let alone explain, but I am happy. 

I glance downwards and look into the eyes I know well. The tears I have been holding back begin to flow and my thoughts begin to race, while every memory of our times together floods back to me. The memories of my time with Ladybug as Chat, knowing now that every time it was her. My memories of Plagg, and the constant reminder of how much I want him back. Worst of all, knowing that my enemy knows my identity and has taken away everything in my life that has ever made me happy. Its all so overwhelming. He cannot have her. 

“Adrien, are you ok?” She interrupts my thoughts.

I reach up to my face and rub away the tears, “I’ve never been better, Mari”.

My hands find her face and form a cup for her cheeks, I place my forehead on hers and allow the tears to fall again.

“My lady, despite my abilities, it seems that I am the lucky one. Now I can see why you are as amazing as you are. I am so impressed by you, for three years I have been fighting by your side and every time we come out on top. When I am having a bad day, you always make it better, no matter what form you’re in. You protect me when I am unable to protect myself. When I am too emotional, you become the more rational one, and whenever I need a friend you always seem to be there for me. I am so lucky to get to be your partner, and friend Marinette, its no wonder I fell for you, twice”.

Her face blushes at my confession and I realize what just came out of my mouth. I’ve never been good at keeping my emotions in check, my father likes to remind me of it constantly. I hope I didn’t scare her away with my second confession of the night.

“Adrien, get out of your head, silly kitty. You know that I too get into trouble or cannot control my emotions sometimes and then you seem to switch to the protector and the rational one. You’ve always been a wonderful friend for me, as Adrien and as Chat, don’t be embarrassed by your feelings. I will always be your partner and you never need to hide yourself around me, I know that in your normal life there is always a spotlight on you and that you need to be well kept, but be yourself with me. Let me help you find who you are. After all, I fell for you twice too, remember?

I haven’t felt this way for a long time, having to hide myself and my feelings for so long, that I almost forgot what true freedom was. Chat used to be my escape, but I still was never really able to be myself completely. 

My heart is so heavy with Plagg missing, but it seems lighter now, as if I know now that no matter what, I will get him back. With Marinette as my partner, I am not worried anymore. I now have all the confidence that the world can offer. 

I think back to all of my conversations with Plagg about all of the past Chat Noirs and how they always found their way back to their partners. I guess I should have expected her to be closer than I thought, but how could I seriously not see it? 

She is so amazing as Marinette and as Ladybug, and I fell for both of them. She is always there for me, always there to keep me straight. Though, she just said the same thing about me, how I keep her steady and how we take on the roles of being each others strength when we are weak. Its almost like a…balance. 

A warmth takes over me and a quick chuckle releases itself from me, “That sounds like a deal Mari, I’d really like that, you are my balance and I am so glad its you that I get to lean on”.

“As long as I can lean on you, too”. She says back with the sweetest voice.

“Of course, bugaboo, will you help me get Plagg back?” I ask, removing my forehead from hers, peering into her eyes with a deep determination. 

“Of course, Adrien, anything you need”. 

I was watching her lips as she spoke, but they weren’t moving. The voice was a higher pitch and quite comforting. A red kwami flies into my vision, and I hear Marinette chuckle lightly. 

“Hello Adrien, I’m Tikki. I’ve been waiting to meet you, though I thought it would be with Plagg. Lets get him back safe, ok?”

I nod my head to agree, “Of course, Tikki. I’m sorry to have lost him,” I say as I hang my head lower to show my shame. 

“I think we have a lot to talk about, Adrien. A long time ahead of us, not that we aren’t used to late nights”. Marinette chimed in, giggling. “Tikki, spots on!”

The bright red light fills the alley way and I finally get to see her transform in front of me. The red suit taking over her body and the mask forming on her beautiful face. I am so lucky to be able to witness this, after all this time. I feel her grab me by my waist and hear her yo-yo zip away to the nearest roof. I subconsciously bend my knees to prepare for the lift that was about to come.

“You ready, Mon Chaton?”

A huge grin appears on my face as I nod in agreement, “I’m ready, my love”.

With that, we lifted off, shooting through the Paris skyline, a rush I hadn’t felt in so long. I am so happy to have her back, so excited for what was to come and so happy to finally make a plan to get Plagg back. 

Blinded by my own excitement of what was currently happening around me I almost missed her mischievous smile, glorious and beautiful. Truly Chat-like.


	4. Chapter 4

We land softly on the balcony of her house, as if to not disturb a soul that lives there. She sets me down and quickly mutters to Tikki to transform her back to Marinette, which I’m not sure I will ever get used to. She heads to her trap door after giving me a look that I am quite familiar with. She is going to go grab some snacks and hot cocoa for us, something we did often when I would visit her as Chat. I have always loved the view from her balcony, with the park in direct view, its quiet and relaxing. Over to the left I see the school, the memory of the battle from earlier that day looming on my conscious, I should probably apologize for that still, though it may be fruitless now. 

I walk over to the table to close the umbrella so we will be able to see the stars better, then grab a match to light the candles. The atmosphere will be heavy once we begin spilling our secrets, so anything to help lighten it will prove beneficial. I turn on the globe lights that hang on the perimeter of the balcony. I contemplate sitting on the railing like I would always do as Chat but now it seems a little more daunting without my staff. I grab a chair and take a seat and peer out over the city awaiting the return of my lady.

Marinette returns a few moments later with a tray of cookies, hot cocoa and a cable of some kind. 

“Hey, whats the cable for?” I break the silence.

“I tried calling you while I was grabbing cookies to see what you wanted, and your phone was off, so I brought you a cable to charge it, just in case it has died”. 

“You always think of everything, my lady,” I say as I reach into my pocket to find a dead phone.

I reach for the cable to plug it in and allow it to be brought back to life with what I’m sure will be many missed calls and messages. I cringe as I think about my father, Nino and especially Alya. 

“Whats wrong, kitty? Why the long face?”

“I just thought about how long I have been gone, and about how I never responded to Nino or Alya after the akuma battle. Which by the way, I’m sorry for what I said to you during the akuma fight, I shouldn’t have said that Chat had abandoned you, I just wanted you to use your lucky charm”. 

She looks down to the ground and I immediately get up to go over to her. I lift her head up and look at the wound above her eye. Luckily its not too deep and can be easily covered up, but that brings up a million questions that need to be asked, though I should still focus on the apology at hand.

“Mari, I’m sorry I abandoned you. I know you already apologized for me not being able to come to you, but I want you to know that it was just as much my fault and I let my pride take over. I knew that the second I told you that It would become real and I didn’t think that I was ready to face it alone”. I took a deep breath, I looked up to the wound again and started to rub it. I looked down and saw her eyes watching me and continued.

“I watched the battle today on the Ladyblog and saw you get hurt, which terrified me. I knew I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing, I had to tell you what happened. You needed your partner back, even if that wasn’t me. Why did you get cut, Mari? We’ve never bled before”.

I lean down to place a gentle kiss on her wound, and hear her breath hitch as I realize what I just did. I remove my lips and look into her shocked eyes.

“Mari, I’m so sorry if I overstepped my boundary! Its something my mom used to do and I guess I just got caught up in the moment…”

“Its ok, Adrien. You took me by surprise is all, you don’t ever need to apologize to me for protecting me, “ she reassures me. A soft silence surrounds us and it feels like we are the only two people alive. 

“We need to talk…about everything”. 

She steps away from me and motions to the chairs. My heart drops to my stomach again, dreading what is to come. Only bad things seem to come from these conversations and I’m not sure if I can handle it. Nevertheless, I will be strong for her, and for myself. I grab a chair and turn it backwards to rest my arms on the back of the chair, then grab one of the cookies on the platter. I realize now just how hungry I am, as I have not eaten since breakfast. 

“Mari, why did you bleed today?”. I glance up from my cookie and look up to my partner, her head down, grasping her warm mug as if it were supplying her the bravery that she needed to ask that question. I don’t dare ask her to look up at me, as I know my own strength is wavering with the story I am about to divulge to her. I scoot my chair closer to her and lay my hand on hers, trying to give her my strength, though I am sure she is giving me more of hers. Her hand unwinds from its placeholder and lays on top of mine, the warmth from her cup ever prevalent on the tips of her fingers. 

She sighs and looks up to me, ready to tell a story.

“When Wayzz stopped sensing the Cat Miraculous, Master Fu had summoned me. He had asked me if I knew what had happened to you and I told him the truth, that I had no clue, that I haven’t even noticed that you went missing. We speculated, but ultimately we came up dry and assumed the worst. Then he told me about the legend of our Miraculouses, and how they are a balance, so much so that when they are not in use, their case is a literal Yin and Yang, like the Chinese lore. Without destruction, there is no creation, and vise versa. Adrien, its almost like we are soulmates, intertwined with each other.”

I raise my hand to the back of my neck and start nervously rubbing it, “Yeah, I kinda already knew that, Plagg told me that recently”.

She looked at me with a questioning look, “Why didn’t you tell me that as soon as you found out?”

“Would you have believed me before Master Fu had told you? Be honest?”

She looked down to her mug again and was deep in thought for a bit, I kept looking at her, wondering why I never saw that she was Ladybug before. How could I have missed it?

“You’re right, kitty. I probably wouldn’t have believed you, and I’m sorry for that now. After you went missing, I realized how much you meant in my life, and how empty I felt without you around. I realized, too late, that I did actually care about you as more than I led on and that I was lying to myself all those years. I regret coming that conclusion after I thought you were dead, but I feel like the universe is giving me a second chance to make it up to you, and I do not intend to take that for granted. You were chosen to be my partner for a reason and now I can see just how much you balance me, as Adrien and as Chat. Thank you, kitty”.

I was speechless, only little gasps were releasing from my mouth as I thought of something to say in return, but the truth was that I couldn’t. I didn’t need to either, she grabbed my hand which warmly reminded me that there was no need. 

“Are you saying that now because you know its me?” I ask, with instant regret.

With her eyebrow slightly raised, she looked deep into my eyes, almost asking me if I were serious. 

“No, Adrien. I was perfectly fine with not finding out who you were tonight, remember?”

“Right,” I reply, almost forgetting that it was my idea to reveal myself tonight, but why was she so confident in being able to get my ring back, by herself? Just as I had opened my mouth to ask, she continued her story.

“After we had come to the conclusion that you were gone, we needed to find out where the ring had gone, and the only place to start was to do some experimentation on myself to see if the ring was still active”.

“What kind of experimenting?” I asked, worry laced in my voice.

“Don’t worry kitty, I’m still here aren’t I?” She asks in an attempt to calm me. 

”Anyway, Master had told me that because of that balance, when I would use my abilities without yours that my body would eventually become more ‘human’ inside of the suit, including my instincts like sound and vision. We had decided that during the next few akuma attacks, I would use my Lucky Charm and see what would happen to me. If my abilities weakened, then the Cat Miraculous wouldn’t be in your possession, but if I remained the same, it meant that it was still with you”. She turned her head back to her lap, swirling her drink, unable to continue.

A deep sigh, releases from my body, I already know where this story is heading next. She and Fu had come to the conclusion that I had disappeared without my ring, or it had been taken or worse. “When I was watching you during the fights, I had noticed that you were becoming more haphazard and careless, though I had just chalked it up to you having to do the job of two people, which, I’m sorry about. I had briefly thought about the possibility of the balance, but I didn’t know how accurate Plagg had been”.

“Adrien, I told you to stop apologizing to me, you don’t need to,” a hint of annoyance in her voice, “Yes, we did realize the same thing, after a week or so and thats when I started bleeding during the battles, you could only see it for the first time today because it was on a part of me outside of the suit. We had concluded that the ring was not with you anymore and I assumed that you had died. I was devastated”.

I watched her face turn from annoyance to grief, as I’m sure the memories of the past month had flooded her mind and wracked her body. I quickly grabbed her up and threw her into an embrace. I heard the clatter of her mug on the floor and I knew that maybe it was a little sudden, but I cannot allow her to grieve because of my selfishness anymore. She has had to be so strong for too long, and I need to start making up for that now. 

I felt her body relax as she finally let all of the tears flow. She began to grab my shirt and shake from the emotion. We remained in this position for some time and I can tell she had been keeping all of that in, for a longer than she needed to. Even at school as Marinette, I never saw any kind of pain or sadness from her, just her usual bubbly self. How could I not see the turmoil she was going through? Either she is a great actress, which I doubt, I have seen her act before or I just was not paying attention and was instead probably only focusing on my own issues. She truly is amazing.

We stood there awhile, the only sound were the occasional sobs. I began to run my fingers through her hair, in hopes to add some comfort to this vulnerable moment. Not too long after she began to breathe normally again.

“You spilled my cocoa, kitty.” She mumbled.

“You can have mine, bugaboo”. I place a light kiss on her head and separate myself from her to allow her to sit back down. I hand her my mug and a few cookies.

“I’m sorry about your shirt,” she said bashfully.

“Its ok, its just a shirt, it will dry. Do you feel better?” I ask, a bit of concern in my voice.

“Yes, I feel much better, thank you for allowing me to do that, apparently I needed a good cry,” she giggles.

Theres that old humor I knew well. I grab her hand and begin rubbing her fingers in comfort while she relaxes and calms down further. I think back to earlier in the day, just after the akuma battle and remember her going straight to Master Fu’s. The lingering question from earlier still prevalent in my mind. 

“I have a question about something you had said earlier, do you mind if I ask you now?”

She looks up to me, with intense eyes, laced with a hint of worry. She nods hesitantly and grants me permission to question.

“You said earlier that you were ok with not finding out who I was tonight, almost like you were ok with just keeping your eyes closed until we got my Miraculous back. If you are getting weaker the more you use your powers, and me without mine, how were you planning on getting it back? Wouldn’t you need my help? Why did you go straight to Master Fu’s?

“Well, we have been discussing passing out the other three Miraculouses. We figured I would need the help, since I am becoming weaker without you. I guess I didn’t think too much about it, I’m sure now that I would have eventually needed to know who you were, but I guess keeping the secret from you for three years was weighing on my conscience, but I was just so happy to hear your voice again that I didn’t care who you were under the mask. I just needed you, again”.

It was my turn to be shocked, “The other Miraculouses? Three of them! To whom?” 

“Yes, the fox miraculous and the…” She began.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know which ones, wait, I only know of the two. Did you find the peacock one? I interrupt her, trying to wrap my mind around three new teammates, I realize I’m rambling, but she did just drop a bomb on me. We are going to have a new team, three new members of the Miraculous family that need to be trained. How much time is that going to take? Wait, what am I thinking, I can’t help out, I’m useless.

“I’m useless, how can I even help you with that, I’m not your partner anymore”.

“Adrien, you will always be my partner. Stop thinking otherwise. You’re Chat Noir with or without the mask, don’t forget that.” She says slightly annoyed again.  
Obviously my Chat is showing, but I am reminded of Plagg again, and how badly I need him back in my life. The empty feeling in my heart showing itself again, taunting me.

“Fu has decided to pass on his Miraculous in addition to the bee and fox”. 

“Oh…” I think to the bracelet that Master Fu wears, the one he will be giving up to help Ladybug out, to help me out. It is true that he is getting up there in age, but that is still a hard decision to make, one that I know well. All of his time as the Guardian, passing it on to her, us. 

“Wow…” I mutter, breathlessly.

“We could actually use your help, Fu has picked who he will be passing his on to and I have decided on who will be receiving the fox. Tomorrow we will begin our discussions on who should receive the bee.”

“You want my help? After I lost mine?” I asked confused.

“Yes, Adrien. You are Chat Noir, my partner and my balance. I need you, as always. We’re a team, remember? We will get Plagg back, with or without the help of the new team, nothing can stop us, it never has and it never will.”

A new confidence surges through me. Yes, a lot of things are happening because I couldn’t keep my thoughts cool and I lost my ring, but that is something that I cannot change. I cannot keep thinking about ‘what ifs’. I need to focus on the future, and on working together with Marinette and Fu. They have chosen to trust me still and I need to prove to them that I am still authentic. 

“Yes, you’re right Marinette, I’m sorry for forgetting that. I have been beating myself up for the last month over what happened and I need to focus on whats right, and thats that I am Chat Noir and will remain that way, with or without the mask. I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you that I’m still here, but I will make that up to you with my dedication on what we think the next plan of action should be, and to our new team, but mostly to you. We will get the ring back, and I promise you that we will remain balanced for the remainder of our time as Ladybug and Chat Noir,” I declare.

“Good, and I to you, kitty.” She smiles softly at me and reaches her hand to my head and begins to scratch softly behind my ears, a weakness she is very familiar with. A purr releases itself from my chest as my eyes droop closed. My body leans forward and I have to catch myself with gripping the chair.

“That should be proof enough that you are still Chat, even without your ring.”

My eyes open after a moment to meet her beautiful blue eyes that dance in the candlelight. Her beauty is breathtaking, and I cannot help but think about how lucky I am. I glance over to the moon, and remember how she is always the light in the darkness, guiding me. A stable force in the havoc that is my life. 

I grab her hand to place a soft kiss and hold it to my lips. Her cheeks blush as her eyes divert from mine. Nervous is cute on her. I reach my hand to the back of her head and slowly bring us closer to each other, until our foreheads meet. My breathing becomes forced as I tilt her chin up. I can feel her breath on my lips, something I have dreamed about forever. She reaches her hands to wrap around the back of my neck as our lips begin to brush.

“Adrien…?”

“Yes, Mari…?”

“If were going to do this, then I need to know what happened, because I know that once I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop,” she breathes. Every syllable brushing against my lips.

I sigh, deeply, then pull away. I allow my heart to calm down before I continue.

“Ok, my lady, but you need to promise me two things”.

She looks up to me, searching my eyes for an answer. To which she finds none, “What’s that Kitty?”

“That if you still love me afterwards, that I can kiss you as much as I want”.

“Pinky promise!” She says happily as she reaches her pinky towards me, I lace my pinky in hers and kiss her knuckle and lay both hands in my lap. 

“And…whats the second, silly kitty?”

“Our new teammates must never, and I repeat, never know about my purr.” She giggles and I continue, “Seriously though, I meant it when I said that if you choose for me to not be Chat Noir, then I will bow out.” I say, almost regretfully but with my full intention on how serious I am.

“Adrien, I already told you, we are partners, through thick and thin. You have forgiven me in the darkest of times and I will do the same for you. Hawkmoth got to you in some way, and we know that he goes after people when they are at their lowest. How could I be angry at that enough to not want you to be my partner, especially after three years of loyalty between us?”

“I am just allowing you that option, should you need it. A way out”. 

She sighs deeply, knowing she cannot change my mind. She relaxes and leans back in her chair, hand still in mine.  
“Alright, I promise, now will you tell me what happened?”

“Yes, my lady” I raise her hand and press my lips to it, hoping this isn’t the last time I get to touch her, afraid of whats to come after telling the story.


	5. Chapter 5

“Adrien! Wake up, you’re going to be late!” 

My eyes shoot open and I frantically search the room for the clock, my mind racing trying to remember what I was going to be late for. I spot the fuzzy green numbers next to my bed that read 6:47. I groan loudly and turn over to Plagg who was floating next to me, grinning devilishly. This happens often, but he knows that once I’m awake, I cannot go back to sleep. 

“Plagg, you know I’m not late for anything, my interview with Nadia doesn’t start until 11:30”. I say trying to remain calm, knowing he must have a reason for getting me up this early.

“I know, I was in the kitchen last night grabbing some late night snacks and I overheard Natalie and your father talking about your diet. He thinks you’re getting ‘too husky’ for his taste. I thought we could go for a run this morning, so you can avoid having that conversation with him again, since we both know that its only because of your muscle gain from being Chat Noir. Plus, I’m hungry and would like to visit that bakery next to your school”. He informed me while fumbling with his paws. 

Over the years, Plagg and I had gotten used to each other. Our likes and dislikes, almost being able to communicate with just a glance and most importantly he understood how my family worked and how I felt about certain things. No secrets were kept between us, so a level of respect had grown between the two of us. Do not get me wrong, we both still annoyed the fire out of each other, but we were a team, and it was important to be able to share that bond with him, especially since we became one to be able to save our city. My face softens as I look at him, appreciating his care of my feelings.

“Alright, that sounds like a plan. Besides, a little run is good for the brain too, let me get ready and we will be on our way”.

I roll over and out of bed and glance over to Plagg, seeing his face morph into a shit eating grin. He probably thinks he won, but I’m more grateful that I don’t have to talk to my father about my ‘pudge’, instead I can just see him as I’m getting home from a run. I head over to my unnecessarily large closet and grab some running shorts and a plain black t-shirt, strap on my shoes and headband then grab my headphones.

“Okay, Plagg. I’m ready, lets go”. I call to him and he flies into my pocket along with my phone, and he selects Nino’s playlist for me. His music has great energy and I enjoy running to it. Plagg enjoys the back and forwards movement my pockets make when I’m running, he goes to sleep quickly and leaves me to my thoughts, and Nino’s music. A time I enjoy.

I step out into he hallway and with just my luck, my father approaches me. His outward appearance as pristine as always, did this man ever sleep? Not even his own son could answer that. He began to look at me, throughly, judging my appearance. With an eye roll so extravagant, I thought his eyes were going to stay permanently in his head, he began the conversation.

“Good morning, Adrien. Where are you off to so early this morning,” He began, bored.

“I am going for a run, sir. I thought I could use the exercise”. I responded, hoping this will help to avoid the conversation about my weight gain. 

“Yes, and why is your hair styled like that? You know what would happen if a reporter were to see you looking like that?” He quickly rebutted, as if that was the point of this conversation and he was already done having it. 

“I’m sorry, Father. I use this to keep my hair off of my forehead while I run”. I reach up to remove it and put it in my pocket. When I look up, my father is already half way to his office, probably satisfied that I removed the effeminate monstrosity.

I head towards the front door and place my headphones back in my ears. When the door opens a cool breeze flows over me, as I decide this weather is perfect for a run. I place the headband back on top of my head as a warm smile replaces my cool frown as it settles into place. Plagg offers me a smirk at my defiance, as I remember the fond memories associated with it, and I begin my run through Paris.

I run for awhile, passing all sorts of places. Reminiscing about all of the fun I have flying through the sky as Chat Noir. Sometimes passing a scene of one of our battles, and thinking how strange it feels that no one around me is aware that I am their hero, a feeling that I do not believe I will ever get used to, or be able to explain to anyone, except Ladybug. My thoughts begin to drift to her and our many adventures and late nights. Through the years we have grown so attached to each other, easily calling each other our best friends, though I wouldn’t mind if we were more than that. 

I am brought from my thoughts by Plagg reminding me that he wanted to get some treats from the bakery owned by Marinette’s parents. I ran up to the door and heard the bell chime as I opened it. A waft of delicious smelling air surrounded me, along with the many warm memories I have here. 

“Hi, Sabine!” I greet the small woman behind the register, a huge smile on my face. “How are you doing this morning?”

“Oh, Adrien! I’m doing wonderful, as usual! How are you my dear?” She walks from behind the counter to offer me an engulfing hug. She plants a kiss on each cheek and turns to the kitchen.

“Tom! Adrien is here!

“My boy!” Shouts Tom as he comes out from the kitchen, his massive hands cover my shoulders as I’m brought into a hug. 

“Goodness, Adrien. You’re a toothpick, do you want to stay for breakfast?” I feel a tapping on my leg from Plagg, telling me to say yes. I laughed a little and accepted the invitation with a nod. 

“Great! Alya and Marinette are still asleep, would you go wake them up? 

“Of course, it’d be my pleasure!” I reply with a turn to the door to their home. 

I climb the stairs and enter their warm home, my secret refuge, though I feel any place that isn’t my house is a sanctuary for me. I glance over to the pictures on the bookshelf and am reminded of being here as Chat Noir and doing the same thing. Thinking about this family and how often they are willing to help us out while saving the city, of Marinette and how big her smile is in a picture with her family. A tinge of jealousy flows through me, and I immediately push it away, I have no right to be that way, when the Dupain-Chengs are always so warm and welcoming of me. 

I look to the right and notice a new picture. My eyes widen as I see myself with Marinette, Nino and Alya at the school Christmas party last year, adorned in the ugliest sweaters complete with huge smiles on our faces. My heart smiles and it reaches my face, they think enough of me to add me to their wall of family pictures. I turn away and rub the tears from my eyes, and begin the trek upstairs to awake the sleeping demon and Alya. 

I lightly knock first and with no answer I push open the hatch and walk in. To my surprise, Marinette is already awake and playing the new Mecha Strike game that came out last week, with headphones as to not disturb her companion. She hasn’t noticed me yet and a plan hatches in my head.

I climb her ladder with the best stealth and climb onto her bed to wake up Alya, I crawl in next to her and lay my head on the other pillow, it smells like Marinette and a rather large grin erupts on my face. I come down from the clouds when I remember the task at hands. I raise my finger to my mouth and begin to rub Alya’s back. Her eyes flutter open and then widen as I am sure she has realized I am not her best friend and I can see her beginning to freak out. She looks down and sees my finger covering my lips as a warning to not make sound, and she calms down. 

“I’ve been put in charge of waking you guys up for breakfast,” I whisper. 

She looks around and hears the light clicking of the buttons on the controller and turns back to me, the bun on top of her head bouncing animatedly, 

“She didn’t notice you come in did she? You’re going to try to scare her, right?” She asks, with an expression that screams excitement.

I nod furiously and she glances up to my hair style, a slight smirk forms on her face. I deadpan and glance at her with a look that says ‘shut up’ and she reacts by rolling her eyes and raising her hands in defeat. She nods her head in the direction of our victim and I begin my descent. 

I climb down and stalk towards her with silent steps, I can hear the noise of the game blaring through her headphones and the realization that I don’t have to be as stealthy as I am hits me and I slump. I hear Alya snickering from above me and roll my head towards her and I flail my arms annoyingly towards her and she smiles. 

She has often told me how happy she is that I have come out of my shell around them, and how easy it is to joke around with me. Despite my rigid and calm appearance outside of this group, I found it easy to become more open to them, and I realized that we are all very similar personality-wise, especially with wise cracking Alya. 

I get up behind Marinette and reach my hands out to surround her waist and wait for the opportune time to attack, by watching whats happening on the screen. As her opponent begins his ultimate, and her focus completely on the game, I grab her waist and begin to say ‘boo’, but it never quite escapes my mouth. Instead, I feel her body tense and in the blink of an eye, I am being held in the air, then I am on the ground arms pinned above my head and her weight on my stomach. 

I glance up at Alya, who is in complete shock, a smile forms on my face as I realize whats about to happen and I look down to Marinette, who’s eyes burned with such a familiar intensity towards her attacker. Then, it morphed into fear, as she realized who it was. 

With the biggest smile I could muster, I greeted her, “Good morning, Mari”.

“Oh my god, Adrien! I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you?” She began to climb off of me, and helped me to my feet. 

I waved my hands in front of my chest in a sign of comfort, “No, I’m fine, I wonder where that came from though”. I reach up to scratch the hairs on my neck.

A cackling came from above us as Alya got over the shock of what just happened and I began to laugh with her. 

“You scared me, you ass,” Marinette says as she pushes lightly on my arm. I push a strand of her hair behind her ear as I mutter an apology. 

“I’m sorry, Mari. Can you ever forgive me?” I say dramatically. Then, I place my hand on my head to fein drama. She looks up to my head and catches sight of the hand band I am using, a shy smile forming as she glances to her bare feet. 

“I suppose I can forgive you, like I forgave you for stealing my headband”. She glances up towards my now rosy cheeks, and I mimic her smile and a small chuckle releases. 

“Thanks, Mari”. I begin to lose myself in her vision, until I hear a loud throat clearing behind me. I wince and turn on my heels to look over at the culprit.

“Right”. I clear my throat, realizing just how intimate the moment had been, “Should I go downstairs and wait for you guys to get ready?” I ask the red head, whose arms were crossed, with an expression mixed with annoyance and happiness. Her nod granting me permission to leave. 

“Call Nino, would ya? He’d hate to miss out”. I hear her ask as I’m exiting the room. I pull out my phone and begin the call, waiting for a voice after the trilling.

“Hey, bro. Whats up?” I hear the familiar voice of my best friend on the other line. 

“Hey, breakfast at Marinette’s”. I hear an excited intake of breath and then the sound of tumbling followed by a yelp. A grin reaches my face as I imagine just how excited he is, flailing around his room.

“On my way!” He cries, as he swiftly hangs up. 

I take a seat over at the table and glance out the window, the room is filled with silence and beautiful sunlight pouring in from the windows. I am given a few minutes of companionless silence, and begin to think about the differences between my biological family and my chosen family. To which, there are no comparisons. Life has definitely become easier since I granted them entrance into who I am, truly. Without judgment. I was accepted and despite the fact that I do need to remain ever vigil to my model personality, for the sake of my father and his business, they are understanding and always act appropriately. Now, I cannot fathom life without them. Especially my partner, Ladybug. 

I am brought from my thoughts by a click at the front door. 

“You alright, son?” Tom says with a hint of concern.

“Oh, yes!” My face forms a genuine smile, I look down at my shoes and softly laugh, “I’m great, Tom”.

I feel his giant palm rest gently on my shoulder as I look up at him. His smile, blinding. 

“Great, my boy! Lets get to making this breakfast, then!” He says excitedly, then with a quick change in his tone, one laced with sincerity, “Don’t hesitate to ask, if you need anything. Or even just to talk. Alright?”

“Yes, sir. I appreciate the offer”. I quickly tag on “Oh, and Nino is coming, too”.

“I figured, that boy would never miss a meal when asked”. Laughed Tom, his hands reaching for the apron, hanging on the edge of the counter. “Hmm, this is an special apron, she made it for her mother, its gorgeous. Isn’t it?” He remarks, handing me the fabric.

“Mmhmm,” I hum in agreement, looking at the intricate details, sown with love and care. “I’ll wear it”. A shy smile starting to creep across my face. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

“It has truly been a pleasure, Adrien. Thank you so much for joining us”. Nadia remarked as she reached for my hand and gracefully placed a kiss on each side of my face, I returned the action. 

“Thank you so much for having me, Nadia. This was fun!” I reply, and it had been, whenever I interview with her I am allowed to be a little sillier, which is always a more comfortable practice for me. It also makes me seem more approachable as a celebrity, though I am always aware of my surroundings and my appearances. I cannot get too rambunctious, for that would tarnish my reputation, its an even balance set atop a razor blade. I look out into the audience and see all the fans of mine, and of the show.

“Thanks to the fans, too for allowing me to be here!” Applause erupts and I look to the front right hand side of the stage and see my friends cheering me on. Plagg, patting my side from under my button up. I truly am lucky that I have them in my life. All of them. 

I look to the side of Nino and see the Gorilla and Natalie, but no father. Probably too busy to be here. I walk over to them and without even a glance, I am swept from the stage by Natalie, rattling on about having dinner with him. I glance backwards and see my friends still smiling and waving, Alya blowing kisses. I move my fingers to my chest and mimic a texting sign and Nino gave me a thumbs up as conformation that he understood. I face forward and begin my trek to the car. 

The charcoal of the car brings me a sense of comfort, more so than his silver car. I’ve always been drawn to the dark, maybe thats why I have the Miraculous belonging to the god of destruction. The power is a darkness that I dare not explain, to anyone other than My Lady. It is an explosion of destruction pulsing through my body. Heating my skin, with a weight that rivals that of the emotional toll it takes on my heart. Physically, the strength I have to use to control it correctly, or for it to even do what I want it to. It definitely does its damage to my body, exhausting it. Mentally, the capacity that I have to have when I visualize the object I am destroying, even the level of which I want to destroy it is taxing. I know Ladybug has the Cure, but its still hard.

She tried to explain the Lucky Charm and Cure to me once, the whole process. From what I gathered during our discussion, its similar to mine, but completely different. When she summons the Lucky Charm, it sends a cooling affect emanating from her head, that courses through her body, leaving her a little light headed. She says its a little chaotic to her, to receive an unknown item and then have to figure out how to use it while light headed. She has to focus hard to maintain some kind of control. Then with the cure, it erases the light headedness as well as what ever else had been destroyed, taking a physical toll on her body.

I glance down to my arm and look at the ring, and begin to clench my fist. I guess thats the point of this whole thing, with good comes evil, light and dark, creation and destruction, chaos and control. 

Natalie clears her throat and I am brought from my thoughts, “Adrien, change of plans, you are to go home and practice your piano until you are needed”.   
“Dinner with my father is cancelled, huh?” I asked rhetorically, wishing I had been cancelled on earlier as to spend more time with my friends. I feel my heart sink, wishing that I had mattered more to him. 

We pulled up to the house and I went straight to my room and crashed on my bed.

“I’m sorry kid,” Plagg said softly and nuzzled into my neck. 

I grab my phone and see that I had a missed text from Nino, telling me how great they thought I did in the interview. I can always rely on them to make me feel better, right?

“It’s alright bud, I suppose I am used to it by now”. I begin to drift off to the sound of his purring, and I allow the sleep to envelope me. 

 

I am woken up to the feeling of being watched, a darkness looming over me. I sit up and lean over to turn on the light. As the room becomes engulfed in light, I startle, and it quickly becomes apparent to me why I feel that way.

There, in front of me with a stance of power, creeping over my figure in the night. His cane reflects off the light I just turned on, his purple suit seeming more ominous with the look of hatred boring down at me. His miraculous staring down at me. 

“Hello, Chat Noir”.


End file.
